Here’s What I Learned From That Time I Was Accidentally On Acid

Processed with VSCO with kk2 preset Have you ever accidentally been on mind-altering substances? As in, sipping a delicious drink

Processed with VSCO with kk2 preset

Have you ever accidentally been on mind-altering substances?

As in, sipping a delicious drink that you had no idea was alcoholic… then wondering why you’re feeling buzzed.

Or getting a sniff of your friend’s joint and getting light-headed.

Or maybe.. Being on acid and not even knowing it? 😂

That’s what happened to me last month (buckle up friend, you’re in for a hell of a story).

So let me pre-frame by saying this: I’m not a big alternative substance person. I’ve sat with plant medicines in a ceremonial context, but I’ve never been someone who enjoys partying all night drunk on MDMA – I was that kid in elementary school who wore the D.A.R.E. (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) t-shirts.

In fact, I’d never tried acid, nor was I that interested to.

But lo and behold, the opportunity popped up to try it with AJ for New Year’s Eve in a beautiful resort out in nature and I thought… why the hell not!

“Ok Celinne but you said you were accidentally on acid – so where’s this going?”

Glad you asked.

It’s New Year’s Eve morning, and we’re getting ready to have breakfast. The plan was to start our trip that night.

I was taking my time getting ready, so AJ left for breakfast first.

“Meet you there!” I said as I was getting dressed.

Just before I left the room, I realized I was very thirsty. I saw a water bottle resting on the couch, so I took a big swig.

(If you’ve done acid in the past… here’s your first hint).

We had a lovely breakfast in the hotel courtyard, and decided to watch the last 30 minutes of the new Matrix movie which we’d started the previous night.

As the movie wrapped up, I had this overwhelming feeling of being a conscious awareness, observing the physical world around me from the inside of my body.

“Oh my god,” I said to AJ. “We really are in the matrix. I can feel it!”

AJ, who by this point is used to my philosophical musings, shrugged in agreement.

I could feel everything – the wind rustling the leaves nearby, the wings of a beetle flying by, the pads of my fingers resting against the wood of the chair.

I had a deep-felt sense that the world around me was not what I perceived it to be, that there were different layers of reality that were far beyond my mental comprehension.

“I think I’m having a psychotic breakdown,” I said, from a weirdly calm and grounded space.

In that moment, for reasons I couldn’t explain, I just got it – the ways that we’re each living in our own illusions, playing out our reality according to our past unconscious patterns and experiences, and seeing the world through the limiting lens of what we believe to be true (rather than recognizing that we are limitless beings and can create anything we wish in this lifetime).

You know what I said next?

“Oh my god… I can finally be myself!!!”

I started crying of relief. I felt so liberated at the idea of the world as I knew it collapsing around me. It means I could finally be that crazy lady, and say whatever I wanted, however I wanted, and it wouldn’t matter because I was the one creating my reality.

This went on for almost an hour, with AJ witnessing me have breakthrough after breakthrough around how we create prisons in our mind that limit us from being who we’re really meant to be.

At one point, I jokingly turned to him and said, “You didn’t spike my food, did you? I feel like I’m tripping.”

His face went cold.

“Oh no.” he said.

I looked at him, puzzled.

“Did you… drink the water on the couch?” he asked.

“Um, yes? I was thirsty.” I said, still utterly clueless as to what was going on.

He buried his face in his hands. “You’re on acid.”

“I’m… what?!”  I said, completely stunned by this revelation.

Well, let me tell you 😂.

Unbeknownst to me, acid can be dissolved into water without any visual trace… and it looks like AJ had prepared the bottle for us, that I took a swig out of that morning.

It was then that it hit me:

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I had been high on acid that whole time, but completely believed that I was sober.

When this landed, I felt… disappointed.

The hyper-presence and unapologetic “this is who I am, and I don’t care who thinks I’m nuts for it” feeling that I had experienced felt so real. I got to access that part of me in a way that I will never forget.

There’s something about psychedelics that allows you to see reality in a way that you previously couldn’t.

The incident (albeit hilarious) gave me an opportunity to recognize a blind spot: I didn’t realize how much I’d been unconsciously monitoring my quirkiness and intuitive side out of fear that people might think I was “crazy.”

We all have our fears. They almost always stem from childhood, instances where we were taught to believe we weren’t enough, that people wouldn’t accept us for who we are.

As we grow into adulthood and pursue our dreams, those fears cloud our filter of reality and inhibit us from doing what we really need to do to live life on our terms.

Funnily enough, my accidental acid trip gave me permission to unleash that weird, intuitive, and out-of-the-box part of me in an even bigger way than I had before.

Now, I’m not recommending that you do acid to discover yourself… 

But what I AM going to mirror back is this:

What are the parts of you that only come out “in hiding”… when you’re on your own, with select people you trust, or on psychedelics 😂?

Where are you not giving yourself permission to unhinge and be all of you: the weird, the quirky, the empath, the dork, etc.?

The very parts of you that you’ve shamed in the past, are the ones that carry the biggest gifts.

For me, it looks like embracing my intuitive, psychic side more and creating more content (like this video I recently posted on IG) talking about the energetics of branding, and using my channeling gifts in sessions with my clients without needling to be subtle about it.

(Actual message from one of my clients: “I can’t thank you enough for your coaching on this issue. HUGE help and insights. I need your intuition on what I need to see by slowing down. I feel there’s something big for me but it’s elusive.”)

What about you? If you were on acid and didn’t know it, what part of your true nature would you “allow” to come out?

… And why isn’t it out yet 😉.

Hey, I’M CELINNE DA COSTA!

I'm a self-actualization coach and brand growth expert for CEOs, executives, and leaders. My work has been featured internationally, including Forbes, Entrepreneur, Business Insider, and TEDx. I've helped thousands of visionary leaders worldwide to unlock their most powerful story from within and grow their influence, income, and impact while staying aligned to their true soul's purpose.

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