What To Do When You’re Feeling “Stuck”

One of my favorite coaching moments was when a mentor explained what it actually meant to be “stuck.”

Words are spells, and what I’ve observed in my 8+ years of coaching is that this word gets thrown around a lot… dangerously.

“Stuck” is many people’s favorite word to explain that icky, crunchy feeling of contraction and not knowing what to do or where to go next. It’s the deep frustration of “I’m not progressing” and “I don’t know what to do about it”… even though you know deep down you’re meant for more.

So let’s demystify this, shall we?

The feeling of stuck happens when you have a non-workable action or inaction.

Think about it as a quadrant: you have action and inaction on one side, and what is workable, and what is not workable on the other (see image below).

Workable inaction is when you know what to do, but you’re not taking action = you need a break or a vacation.

Non-workable inaction is when you don’t know what to do, and you’re not taking action = stuck.

Non-workable action is when you don’t know what to do, yet you keep taking action = spinning your wheels.

Workable action is when you know what to do, and you take action = on track.

Many clients come to me thinking that they’re stuck.

And that’s part of the problem… they’ve hit a wall and are not even properly diagnosing what the root cause of why they’re feeling that way in the first place.

Sometimes, they come to me after spending thousands of dollars on strategies, courses, and coaching that didn’t work…

Feeling frustrated because they know in their gut that they can nail this, that they’re so dang close… but “something” is in the way.

If you’re feeling stuck, the first step is to diagnose where you are on this quadrant.

Do you know what you need to do, but you’re just not doing it for whatever reason?

You may just need a break.

Read that again.

You may just need to step away, rest & recover, and come back to it when you’re feeling energized and clear.

This one is usually the hardest one to swallow, because when you’re an ambitious, purpose-driven entrepreneur like you are, you want to get sh*t done. You want to see results, and you want to do that at the speed of light.

So a lot of my coaching in this section of the quadrant is supporting my client to give themselves permission to rest, relax, and take care of themselves. This is surprisingly hard, considering how many badass entrepreneurs out there are hard-wired and conditioned to believe that more work = higher performance (not the case).

If you don’t know what to do and you’re not taking action… That’s when you’re really stuck 😅.

But not to worry… because that’s what mentorship is for – to have someone to help you see your blind spots, turn that non-workable action into a workable one, and help you take the action.

In my experience, clients who are on this side of the quadrant are experiencing internal  issues… there’s something deep inside that they’re not addressing.

For example, I had a client who was completely stuck on a chapter she needed to finish to finally publish her book. It was driving her crazy because she flat-out didn’t know what to do.

Turns out, when we dug deeper, she was experiencing a subconscious block stemming all the way back from her childhood… her chapter was about self-acceptance, but she hadn’t yet accepted herself for a traumatic event that happened in her past!

Once we did the deeper emotional healing work, and rewired her fears around shame and judgment, the chapter flowed out of her like water…. See what she shared below! 

If you don’t know what to do and you’re taking action… then, my friend, you are spinning your wheels 🤪.

In other words… you are hustling. You are doing lots of work (and likely burning yourself out in the process), but it’s not actually getting you anymore.

When I’m coaching clients who are in this quadrant, the first step is to take a step back and ask the very important question…

Why are you doing that?

Because, believe it or not, there’s a part of you who has a good reason. It may not be logical, or healthy to you, but it “makes sense” in some corner of your universe.

Perhaps there is a part of you who genuinely believes that working harder creates bigger results…

Or there’s a malfunctioning belief system that has you thinking that if you take a pause to think and reflect, you’ll fail…

Or maybe, there’s a very young version of you who’s terrified of not being enough or not being worthy of your dreams, and is now in the driver’s seat of the decisions you’re taking in your business (and you don’t even realize it)…

Whatever it is for you, there’s a reason. And it’s very important to address that reason, so that you can stop self-sabotaging and wasting your time.

Here’s what the crazy part is…

More work does NOT equal higher performance.

Smarter work equals higher performance.

And sometimes, the smartest thing you can do is clear your head, reset your nervous system, and get yourself to a resourced, expansive,and relaxed state so that the creative ideas can pour in and you can get back into flow, which = more efficient workflow.

And here’s the even crazier part…

Sometimes, you just need to spin your wheels for a bit to learn the lesson.

The amateur entrepreneur believes that business success is a straight linear line. You’re meant to know all of the answers, always perform at your peak, and exceed all expectations… every time… right? 🙃

Not so…

Part of the emotional maturity that we get to acquire as entrepreneurs, is realizing that hustle can be part of the journey to building our businesses but it’s ultimately optional.

But, you’re likely not going to learn that until you have the embodied experience of working your ass off and realizing that if you were more intentional and aligned with the process, you could have saved yourself a lot of time and effort and gotten much better results.

So if you’re stuck and spinning your wheels… my recommendation is to do it consciously and learn the lessons so that you can do it less and get out of the hamster wheel faster next time. 😄

Last but not least… if you know what to do and you’re taking action… congratulations! You’re on track.

When I’m coaching clients here, things get very exciting – because this is the sweet spot where you get to build on your success.

This is where we get to have conversations about expanding, growing, and scaling. It’s also where we get to do the subconscious reprogramming that rewires you to strengthen your belief in yourself, compound your positive habit patterns, and connect to the bigger vision of what you’re creating, allowing you to move faster and with more alignment towards your goals.

This is the sweet spot I coach my clients into so that they can get “unstuck”  and quantum leap into the amazing results they’ve gotten, such as:

• Scaling from 6 figures to 7 figures… in a matter of months!
• Doubling their business revenue within the year
• 10x’ing their rates with a full client roster
• Growing their audience by the tens of thousands
• Having their brand featured on big media like Forbes, TEDx, and Business Insider!
• Publishing their book, turning their side hustle into their full-time business, spending more time with their children, and spending more time doing what they really love…

If you’re going through a phase of feeling stuck, what I want to remind you of is…

Being stuck is figureoutable.

It’s not actually a dead end – it’s just your perception that there’s no way out that’s keeping you immobile.

The way I see it, getting unstuck has a process – a very straightforward and solvable one, at that.

As soon as you’re ready to step out of the self-imposed downward spiral… the solution is there, waiting for you 😊.

And, if you’re not into burning more time, energy, and brain calories figuring out how to get out of the spinny wheel of stuckness…

Getting badass visionaries like you unstuck – so that you can liberate your energy to focus on what’s most important to you and quantum leap to your big goals this year – just happens to be my specialty 😉.

While I typically work with my clients long-term and as a lifetime advisor to their highest version of success…

I occasionally offer Deep Dive Intensives where we go straight into the root cause of what’s been keeping you stuck, resolve it through your mind-body-spirit, rewire your subconscious mind to get you sparked to take action again, and map out workable actions to take so that you can start making smart moves towards your vision.

Spots are limited – you can book yours right here.