How to Stop Attracting the Wrong Relationships with DharmaRaj | EP 72

It's Not What You Think with Celinne Da Costa

How to Stop Attracting the Wrong Relationships with DharmaRaj | EP 72

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In 2021, Celinne experienced a rock bottom — a breakup coupled by physical illness, suppressed anger, flesh-eating bacteria. It was the moment she realized she was the common denominator of her relationships issues, so she stopped dating for two years and started excavating. This episode is the full story: five relationship chapters, each a mirror for what still needed healing, told for the first time in this depth — with master tantra teacher and healer Dharmaraj interviewing her.

In this conversation, you’ll hear how the armor of independence quietly blocks love, what Celinne found when she traced her wounds back through her masculine and feminine lineage, and why becoming the right partner matters far more than finding one.

ON THIS EPISODE:

00:00 Meet Dharmaraj — tantra teacher, holistic healer, and one of Celinne’s closest witnesses to her journey

05:37 Discover why Celinne is sharing this story out loud — and who it’s really for

10:16 Explore Chapter 1 — Mr. A: checking all the boxes, the seduction of being chosen, and the cost of loving someone for what they reflect back about you

14:17 Witness the rock bottom: physical illness, suppressed anger, and the moment she realized she was the common denominator

22:44 Learn what the two-year men’s sabbatical actually involved — the tantra path, Alison Armstrong’s work, and what really changed

37:51 Understand “laying down the sword” — why women’s empowerment and men’s disempowerment are not the same agenda

41:41 Hear the hypnosis session that changed everything: forgiving her male lineage and meeting Mr. J three days later

52:20 Explore Chapter 5 — Mr. N: ease, full love, a reset blueprint, and why they’re consciously uncoupling

1:07:07 Discover what Celinne now tells clients: become the right woman — the list she gave to God, and the one she kept

KEY IDEAS:

🔥The independence armor has a price. Building a successful career and saying “I don’t need anyone” was Celinne’s way of staying safe after early wounds. It worked — until she realized she wasn’t just protecting herself from pain. She was blocking love entirely, and attracting relationships that reinforced the story she’d been running since childhood.

🔥 Every relationship is an exact mirror. You don’t attract the partner you want. You attract the partner that matches where you actually are. The work is internal — no amount of better dating strategy changes what you’re energetically broadcasting.

🔥 Laying down the sword is a skill, not a capitulation. Dharmaraj draws a clear line: women’s empowerment and men’s disempowerment are not the same agenda. Understanding how men actually think, communicate, and function — and meeting them there — isn’t softness. It’s intelligence.

🔥 You can enter with love and exit with love. The measure of how much you’ve healed isn’t how long a relationship lasts. It’s whether you can end it without a villain story — and walk away with the other person still in your corner.

RESOURCES:

Dharmaraj is a tantra teacher, holistic healer, and transformational coach who supports people through healing, sacred sexuality, and transformational work across the world.

Tantra Transformation Retreat | Tantra Teacher Training | Instagram | Facebook

Celinne Da Costa is a podcast host, author, and coach for leaders navigating ‘I’ve made it—now what?’ She guides them to redesign their next act: more meaningful, more aligned, more fun… and led by their soul’s truth. 

 Website | LinkedIn | Substack | Instagram | Facebook

💡The Burning Ground: One Woman’s Journey to Reclaim Her Soul and Ignite Her Inner Fire — Celinne’s memoir about walking away from corporate New York at 25 and couchsurfing across 18 countries through 70 strangers’ homes — launches May 26, 2026. Pre-order Here now and receive over $200 in exclusive bonuses delivered directly to your inbox.