How to Break Up With Someone You Love — With My Ex-Partner, Nathan | Ep 81

If you’ve ever believed a breakup has to become a war, this conversation is your proof it doesn’t — and a real-time map for love, and end, with consciousness.

People told Celinne and Nathan their relationship was a bad idea. She wanted children; he already had two grown daughters and wasn’t sure he wanted to start again. They chose each other anyway — and a year after intentionally ending it, they’re still family.

They met on the other side of Celinne’s own rock bottom, and what they built together is what most people are never taught is possible: a relationship dated in radical transparency and loved without possession. When the season closed, they ended it on purpose instead of bracing for it to happen to them — a clean ending that left nothing unsaid.

In this conversation, Celinne and Nathan walk through the three phases of a conscious relationship: courting, love, and uncoupling. You’ll hear how they named a dealbreaker out loud in the first weeks, how they met each other’s triggers with curiosity, and what it looked like to design an ending that left them both more whole. It’s for anyone who’s ever been stuck in a relationship they couldn’t quite name or leave.

ON THIS EPISODE:

00:00 Meet Nathan and the premise — three phases of one relationship, not a timeline

04:15 Hear Nathan’s “three-month pattern” — and the moment Celinne named it

08:00 Learn the line that took the pressure off courting: “if I’m available, I’ll pick up”

14:50 Discover the “define family” moment — naming a dealbreaker early without projection

23:30 Sit with the in-person visit that didn’t spark — and why the truth saved it

48:30 Unpack the “crunch” code word for addressing friction before it hardens

56:45 Hear the real measure of a relationship: “I could be fully Nathan and I was loved”

1:00:45 Reframe the ending — not a terminal disease, but limited, precious time

1:11:00 Walk through the conscious uncoupling — the 28-day no-contact, nothing left unsaid

KEY IDEAS:

✨ Name the dealbreaker out loud, early: On an early call, Celinne named wanting children; Nathan already had his. Instead of hiding the mismatch until they were attached, they put it on the table and stayed curious about it. The thing most couples avoid until it’s too late became the foundation they built on.

✨ Meet a trigger with curiosity: When something felt off, they got curious instead of building a case. Celinne’s move was to voice her intuition without projection — telling Nathan she’d felt his energy shift and asking whether he’d felt it too, opening the door rather than laying blame. That single reframe dropped the defenses instead of raising them.

✨ An ending can be designed, not survived: They stopped treating the finish line as a catastrophe happening to them and started authoring it. A 28-day no-contact window, scheduled check-ins, hard conversations until nothing was left unsaid. A clean heartbreak that took no hostages.

✨ The real measure is who you get to be inside it: Nathan’s marker of a great relationship was simple — he liked the man he was in it. In his words: “I literally could be fully Nathan and I was loved.” That’s the standard worth holding your own relationships to.

RESOURCES:

Nathan Freitas is a creative director and marketer who brings brands to life through cinematic storytelling — turning brand vision into content people can feel and systems that actually deliver, from Fortune 100s to purpose-driven founders. He runs NF Studios out of Nashville. 

Website | Instagram | Linkedin | Facebook

Celinne Da Costa is a podcast host, bestselling author, and executive coach for leaders navigating ‘I’ve made it—now what?’ She guides them to redesign their next act: more meaningful, more aligned, more fun… and led by their soul’s truth.

Website | LinkedIn | Substack | Instagram | Facebook

💡 You just heard what becomes possible when you rewrite the story you’ve been living. The Story Clarity Intensive is a 90-minute private session with Celinne to find the story quietly running your life and rewrite it at the root. If this conversation resonated and you’re ready to author your next chapter on purpose, book your session here.

💡 Mentioned in this episode:

Soul Alignment Meditation — a free practice to come home to your center and lead and love from presence.

I Want the Best for Him — Even If It’s Not Me article

💡 Related episodes:

Ep 72 with Dharmaraj — How to Stop Attracting the Wrong Relationships. Celinne walks through the full evolution of her love life and the rewrite that made a relationship like this possible.

Ep 33 — Coming Home to Myself. Celinne’s solo episode on the journey back to self-worth after her rock bottom, the inner work underneath everything in this conversation.