How To Make Your Life Easier (When You’ve Subconsciously Trained Yourself To Make It Unnecessarily Hard)

I don’t know about you, but I used to like things the “hard” way.

Once upon a time, I was addicted to chaos and needed life to be hard in order for me to feel that my wins were well-earned.

It’s not something I would have consciously admitted to, of course, because I didn’t realize.

Growing up, I was shown by my parents that I needed to work really hard for me to have the things I desired. Coming from a Latino family, there was a lot of drama in the house… screaming, snapping, and creating a storm out of a cup of water (as my grandmother would say) was a norm.

I grew up unconsciously subscribing to limiting beliefs around things needing to be hard to be worth it.

So, as I went on with my life, that’s exactly what I attracted.

I accomplished a lot of incredible things before I turned 30:

I worked at one of the top advertising agencies in New York City, traveled the world for a year sleeping in stranger’s homes, built up a large online following, got featured in top media such as Forbes, Business Insider, and Entrepreneur, was a speaker on TEDx, built up a multi six-figure coaching business, and so much more.

And guess what,?

It was really hard.

I rolled up my sleeves and I efforted my way into every achievement. So many of my wins were soaked in self-doubt, tears, pain, and insecurity.

Let’s not forget the drama. For me to achieve anything, it seemed like I needed to wade through a river of drama that I unconsciously loved to hate.

(I know, ick).

Back in 2019, I hit a peak of how much chaos and drama my body could tolerate.

Over the course of just a couple of months, I hit my first $50k month in 10 days (huge win), but then proceeded to physically and emotionally burn out from delivering my TEDx talk, getting ghosted from a situationship I was heavily involved in, and landing in the emergency room with a cyst in my ovary.

That’s when I finally understood what I was doing to myself:

My god. Every time I want to hit my “next level”, I subconsciously call in getting my ass kicked by a big rock of a situation so I can get knocked into learning my lesson.

But that’s not because this is a necessary prerequisite to me learning an important lesson – it’s because I was subconsciously choosing it this way, and so that’s the reality that presented itself to me.

Ouch.

That day, I made a deal with the Universe:

From now on, send me 3 feathers to gently show me what I need to learn next. If I don’t listen by the 3rd time, then you can send me the rock.

I committed to healing my past toxic patterns and conditioning around chaos and drama, and in exchange, I would receive 3 gentle warnings whenever I needed to heal or learn something to get to my next level.

The crazy part is… it started to happen exactly in this way.

Anytime I’ve needed to learn something — for example, how to improve my team dynamics or communicate better in my relationship — I’ve received subtler “alerts” that something is off.

A strange text message from someone I haven’t heard from in years. A very clear “coincidence” that answers a question I’d just asked the day prior. A deal that feels off and a friend that I trust points this out.

I get a nudge. Then, if I don’t listen, another nudge. Then another.

Sure, I’ve been hit with a rock since then… but that’s after I very obviously didn’t listen, and it doesn’t happen nearly as often as it used to before I made this deal with the Universe.

This approach taught me something big:

There is a gentler, kinder way to live.

As overachievers and high performers, people like us have been conditioned to believe that things need to be hard in order to be worth it. That there’s just no way that things can come to us with ease and grace!

That’s simply not true — it’s just conditioning that you’ve been raised in and unconsciously subscribed to as a child.

From my experience, and working with many clients to help them release their subconscious patterning and step into greater ease and prosperity in all areas of their life, you don’t need to go for the rock every time you need to learn a lesson or uplevel.

Often, it’s possible to just learn it with a gentle nudge.

It’s completely available to you to drop the drama and chaos, and just allow life to keep getting better and better… with ease and grace.

So long as you’re paying attention to the signs, and deeply listening to and knowing yourself. Two skills that are worth developing regardless 🙂 .

Since then, I’ve discovered life to be so much more incredible than I could have ever imagined!

It’s peaceful. It’s kind. It’s here to support you. And it flows when you let it.

With this new operating system, I’ve been able to accomplish so much more… I’ve recently hit my first $100k month, closed a 6-figure coaching deal with a Fortune 200 company, filled up my private client practice, all while taking 3 months of vacation time per year, working less than 30 hours a week, and enjoying the process.

I have more than ever before, with less effort, stress, chaos, and drama.

And if I can do it — a double-Latina (Italian-Brazilian) firecracker who lived and breathed on drama and chaos her entire life — then so can you.

All you have to do is ask the Universe…

For 3 feathers, and a rock.

Preferably you don’t ever need to get the rock though 😉