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Posts Tagged ‘values’

Happy Money: Why Earning More Never Fixed the Stress — with Ken Honda | Ep 84

By Celinne Da Costa | September 17, 2026 | 0

For the leader who has made the money, still feels the squeeze every time it moves, and suspects the number was never the variable. Ken Honda learned about money from his father from around the age of five, started investing at twenty, and semi-retired at twenty-nine to raise his daughter. By most measures that is…

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Your Values Decide Your Financial Destiny — with Dr John Demartini | Ep 83

By Celinne Da Costa | September 3, 2026 | 0

For the leader who has already done the values exercise, felt clear for a week, and gone straight back to building the thing that drains them. A first-grade teacher told Dr John Demartini’s parents their son would never read, never communicate effectively, and never amount to much. He dropped out of school, hitchhiked to California…

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    celinnedacosta

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    Trusted advisor to the unconventional leader ready to articulate your truth into stories that move people.
    Forbes, TEDx, USA Today Bestselling Author

    Who else pays the bill for your success?

    I interviewed Ken Honda, bestselling author of Happy Money, and he said something about ambition and success that really stopped me in my tracks:

    “You’re leveraging and borrowing money from your kids’ future.”

    He was talking about what happens when the pursuit of financial success consumes so much of your time, attention and energy that the people you love start absorbing the cost.

    Your children. Your partner. Your friends.

    You might be the one making the money, but you`re not necessarily the only one paying for it.

    Holy sh*t. Let that image land for a second.

    I started picturing one of those pie charts your banking app gives you at the end of the month, showing exactly where your money went.

    Except this one showed where your energy went.

    How much went to the business? Clients? Your team? Your partner? Your children? Yourself?

    And if you could actually see that breakdown, would you still define what you`re building as successful?

    🎧 Ken and I get into the hidden cost of ambition, what he calls the “family energy quota,” and whether the people around us sometimes end up paying for our success. Comment PODCAST and I`ll send it to you.

    17 6
    Open post by celinnedacosta with ID 18087362615656707
    Who else pays the bill for your success? I interviewed Ken Honda, bestselling author of Happy Money, and he said something about ambition and success that really stopped me in my tracks: “You’re leveraging and borrowing money from your kids’ future.” He was talking about what happens when the pursuit of financial success consumes so much of your time, attention and energy that the people you love start absorbing the cost. Your children. Your partner. Your friends. You might be the one making the money, but you're not necessarily the only one paying for it. Holy sh*t. Let that image land for a second. I started picturing one of those pie charts your banking app gives you at the end of the month, showing exactly where your money went. Except this one showed where your energy went. How much went to the business? Clients? Your team? Your partner? Your children? Yourself? And if you could actually see that breakdown, would you still define what you're building as successful? 🎧 Ken and I get into the hidden cost of ambition, what he calls the “family energy quota,” and whether the people around us sometimes end up paying for our success. Comment PODCAST and I'll send it to you.

    A dictation app came out and I stopped writing.

    It feels silly to say, because I`d just published a book that I human-wrote the hard way, with these little fingers.

    But this AI revolution made me kind of lazy for a moment. It became so easy to voice command everything I wanted to say that I just… stopped.

    And I`ve felt the gap of not writing.

    Because I don`t speak the way I write, and I don`t write the way I speak. When I`m writing, I`m thinking. They`re two different ways of relating to my Word.

    Somewhere in the middle of that I realised I`d been using one word to describe two very different things.

    Your words are everything you say.

    Your Word is your promises, your boundaries, your commitments, your lived experience alchemised into something you`ve earned the right to say. Everything your life is willing to stand behind.

    Your soul speaks through Word.

    Beautiful words have never been easier to produce. AI can generate words all day long.

    Which means it`s entirely possible now to have beautiful words and very little Word.

    You can say your family comes first. You can say your health matters. You can say integrity is important. You can say you`re building a business to create freedom.

    But if your calendar and your decisions consistently tell a different story, your Word begins to weaken. You start losing trust in your own voice. And eventually, so does everyone else.

    The power of your Word doesn`t come from eloquence. It comes from how much of your life is standing behind what you say.

    There are four questions in this week`s piece for finding where your gap is.

    Comment SUBSTACK and I`ll send it to you.

    p.s. Writing this reminded me why I created Business by Soul®. It`s a self-paced program to reconnect to your values, your decisions, your mission and the business you`re building… so your life and your Word start moving in sync 🌀✨.

    11 7
    Open post by celinnedacosta with ID 18107944295232132
    A dictation app came out and I stopped writing. It feels silly to say, because I'd just published a book that I human-wrote the hard way, with these little fingers. But this AI revolution made me kind of lazy for a moment. It became so easy to voice command everything I wanted to say that I just… stopped. And I've felt the gap of not writing. Because I don't speak the way I write, and I don't write the way I speak. When I'm writing, I'm thinking. They're two different ways of relating to my Word. Somewhere in the middle of that I realised I'd been using one word to describe two very different things. Your words are everything you say. Your Word is your promises, your boundaries, your commitments, your lived experience alchemised into something you've earned the right to say. Everything your life is willing to stand behind. Your soul speaks through Word. Beautiful words have never been easier to produce. AI can generate words all day long. Which means it's entirely possible now to have beautiful words and very little Word. You can say your family comes first. You can say your health matters. You can say integrity is important. You can say you're building a business to create freedom. But if your calendar and your decisions consistently tell a different story, your Word begins to weaken. You start losing trust in your own voice. And eventually, so does everyone else. The power of your Word doesn't come from eloquence. It comes from how much of your life is standing behind what you say. There are four questions in this week's piece for finding where your gap is. Comment SUBSTACK and I'll send it to you. p.s. Writing this reminded me why I created Business by Soul®. It's a self-paced program to reconnect to your values, your decisions, your mission and the business you're building… so your life and your Word start moving in sync 🌀✨.

    “The hierarchy of your values dictates your financial destiny.”

    When Dr. John Demartini said this, I pushed back.

    What about the person who desperately wants to build wealth but can’t seem to?

    His answer opened up a fascinating distinction between wanting something and actually valuing it.

    @DrJohnDemartini has spent almost 50 years studying human values, including the relationship between our values and how we earn, spend and invest money.

    His argument is that money circulates through the economy from those who value it least to those who value it most — and that your hierarchy of values influences which end of that flow you’re standing in.

    Saying you “want” wealth is one thing.

    But actually “valuing” wealth is what dictates whether your can create it or not.

    If wealth building sits low on your hierarchy, you may consistently spend money on things that depreciate. If it sits high, you’re more likely to prioritise saving, investing and acquiring assets that work for you.

    And this was the part that landed for me:

    Unless there’s a shift in values, there won’t be a shift in actions.

    This isn’t a verdict on whether money should matter to you. Plenty of extraordinary lives are built around values that have nothing to do with accumulating wealth.

    It’s about ending the war between what you say you want and what you actually organise your life around.

    One of those two is telling the truth.

    🎧 Why wanting something and valuing it produce completely different behaviours, and only one of them moves you. Comment PODCAST and I`ll send it to you.

    48 10
    Open post by celinnedacosta with ID 17930523333394305
    “The hierarchy of your values dictates your financial destiny.” When Dr. John Demartini said this, I pushed back. What about the person who desperately wants to build wealth but can’t seem to? His answer opened up a fascinating distinction between wanting something and actually valuing it. @DrJohnDemartini has spent almost 50 years studying human values, including the relationship between our values and how we earn, spend and invest money. His argument is that money circulates through the economy from those who value it least to those who value it most — and that your hierarchy of values influences which end of that flow you’re standing in. Saying you “want” wealth is one thing. But actually “valuing” wealth is what dictates whether your can create it or not. If wealth building sits low on your hierarchy, you may consistently spend money on things that depreciate. If it sits high, you’re more likely to prioritise saving, investing and acquiring assets that work for you. And this was the part that landed for me: Unless there’s a shift in values, there won’t be a shift in actions. This isn’t a verdict on whether money should matter to you. Plenty of extraordinary lives are built around values that have nothing to do with accumulating wealth. It’s about ending the war between what you say you want and what you actually organise your life around. One of those two is telling the truth. 🎧 Why wanting something and valuing it produce completely different behaviours, and only one of them moves you. Comment PODCAST and I'll send it to you.

    If you took away my business, my money, and my achievements, I would still consider myself a very wealthy woman.

    Because the most precious asset I’ll ever own is the memory of my experiences — and the emotions that come alive in my body every time I remember them.

    I wasn’t always someone who built my life this way.

    For a long time, I was asking:

    What can I achieve?

    Somewhere along the way, I started asking a different question:

    What does my soul desire to experience?

    That question has led me to trek through the snowy mountains of Pakistan. Swim with baby seals in the crystalline waters of the Galapagos. Watch a pregnant moon rise from behind the dunes of the Saharan desert.

    And most recently, watch the moon perfectly align with the sun in totality, in the middle of the Arctic seas of Greenland.

    The more I’ve taken that question seriously, the more I’ve become someone I now know myself to be:

    A collector of extraordinary experiences.

    Your version of extraordinary probably looks different from mine.

    The question is: are the things you deeply desire actually getting a vote in how you build your life?

    This week’s Substack is about how I learned to give them one — plus a Soul Inquiry to help you uncover your own.

    Full story on Substack — link in bio.

    54 8
    Open post by celinnedacosta with ID 17952983940218086
    If you took away my business, my money, and my achievements, I would still consider myself a very wealthy woman. Because the most precious asset I’ll ever own is the memory of my experiences — and the emotions that come alive in my body every time I remember them. I wasn’t always someone who built my life this way. For a long time, I was asking: What can I achieve? Somewhere along the way, I started asking a different question: What does my soul desire to experience? That question has led me to trek through the snowy mountains of Pakistan. Swim with baby seals in the crystalline waters of the Galapagos. Watch a pregnant moon rise from behind the dunes of the Saharan desert. And most recently, watch the moon perfectly align with the sun in totality, in the middle of the Arctic seas of Greenland. The more I’ve taken that question seriously, the more I’ve become someone I now know myself to be: A collector of extraordinary experiences. Your version of extraordinary probably looks different from mine. The question is: are the things you deeply desire actually getting a vote in how you build your life? This week’s Substack is about how I learned to give them one — plus a Soul Inquiry to help you uncover your own. Full story on Substack — link in bio.

    «Going back and dealing with how you got the [subconscious] program… is a waste of time. You already have the program.»

    I’ve rarely heard a scientist say something so at odds with how most of us were taught to heal. 

    @brucelipton Bruce H. Lipton, Ph.D spent his career studying how change actually happens inside your cells, and what he found cuts against the whole premise of returning to the past to understand our wounds. Every time you go back and replay how a pattern got installed, he says, you reinforce the very thing you’re trying to move beyond.

    I’ve watched this play out with high-achievers who have done years of therapy and still feel stuck in the same place. Understanding where a pattern came from turns out to be a very different thing from changing it. The insight lives in the small part of you that’s conscious, while the pattern keeps running from the much larger part that isn’t.

    What he offers instead doesn’t ask you to excavate your history for another decade. You already carry the program. The work is to rewrite it from where you stand now, and then to live as the person who is already running the new one.
    Where have you been trying to understand a pattern, when what it’s really asking is to be rewritten?

    🎧 Bruce shares the three ways to actually change the program — including the one he says shifted his own life in fifteen minutes. Comment PODCAST and I’ll send it to you.

    39 8
    Open post by celinnedacosta with ID 17967872229129378
    «Going back and dealing with how you got the [subconscious] program… is a waste of time. You already have the program.» I’ve rarely heard a scientist say something so at odds with how most of us were taught to heal.  @brucelipton Bruce H. Lipton, Ph.D spent his career studying how change actually happens inside your cells, and what he found cuts against the whole premise of returning to the past to understand our wounds. Every time you go back and replay how a pattern got installed, he says, you reinforce the very thing you’re trying to move beyond. I’ve watched this play out with high-achievers who have done years of therapy and still feel stuck in the same place. Understanding where a pattern came from turns out to be a very different thing from changing it. The insight lives in the small part of you that’s conscious, while the pattern keeps running from the much larger part that isn’t. What he offers instead doesn’t ask you to excavate your history for another decade. You already carry the program. The work is to rewrite it from where you stand now, and then to live as the person who is already running the new one. Where have you been trying to understand a pattern, when what it’s really asking is to be rewritten? 🎧 Bruce shares the three ways to actually change the program — including the one he says shifted his own life in fifteen minutes. Comment PODCAST and I’ll send it to you.

    Over-explaining is an attempt to control.

    When you sense something isn’t landing, do you reach for more words? Then a caveat, in case those were the wrong ones…

    And underneath that is care. You have a low tolerance for being misunderstood, and there is something sitting on your heart that you genuinely want another person to see.

    That’s the gift.

    But every gift has a shadow. Understanding gets made in the space you leave for someone to think their own way toward it.

    The more you try to control how someone experiences what you said, the less room they have to actually have an experience of it.

    So the work isn’t becoming someone who never over-explains.

    It’s catching it for what it is… a smoke signal that something underneath is asking for your attention.

    Next time you notice yourself adding one more explanation, don’t reach for a better way to say it. Pause and ask what you’re afraid will happen if you stop talking.

    There are five questions in this week’s Substack article to guide you in exactly that moment.

    Comment SUBSTACK and I’ll send it to you.

    34 6
    Open post by celinnedacosta with ID 18127291561661179
    Over-explaining is an attempt to control. When you sense something isn’t landing, do you reach for more words? Then a caveat, in case those were the wrong ones… And underneath that is care. You have a low tolerance for being misunderstood, and there is something sitting on your heart that you genuinely want another person to see. That’s the gift. But every gift has a shadow. Understanding gets made in the space you leave for someone to think their own way toward it. The more you try to control how someone experiences what you said, the less room they have to actually have an experience of it. So the work isn’t becoming someone who never over-explains. It’s catching it for what it is… a smoke signal that something underneath is asking for your attention. Next time you notice yourself adding one more explanation, don’t reach for a better way to say it. Pause and ask what you’re afraid will happen if you stop talking. There are five questions in this week’s Substack article to guide you in exactly that moment. Comment SUBSTACK and I’ll send it to you.

    The most honest relationship advice I’ve heard came from my ex-partner, near the end of our post-breakup podcast interview.

    @nathanfreitasphoto Nathan said the part almost nobody wants to hear: before you go looking for the right relationship, do the work in yourself. Get to the place where you don’t jump into action the second someone triggers you.

    Here’s why it landed for me. So much of what breaks relationships isn’t the trigger — it’s the speed and lack of consciousness of reaction between stimulus and response. Something stings, and we react before we’ve even asked whether the story we’re telling ourselves is true. We fire off the text and make the other person responsible for a wound that was already there.

    The practice is deceptively simple: in the moment you feel triggered, pause. Ask how much of this is actually true, and how it makes you feel. That pause is the whole ballgame.

    And Nathan was honest that this is the hard part — the part he tried to rush through early in his divorce, and couldn’t. Because it can’t be rushed. The inner work never can.

    🎧 The full conversation is a real-time map for loving, and leaving, consciously. Comment PODCAST and I’ll send it to you.

    31 3
    Open post by celinnedacosta with ID 17908742430444491
    The most honest relationship advice I’ve heard came from my ex-partner, near the end of our post-breakup podcast interview. @nathanfreitasphoto Nathan said the part almost nobody wants to hear: before you go looking for the right relationship, do the work in yourself. Get to the place where you don’t jump into action the second someone triggers you. Here’s why it landed for me. So much of what breaks relationships isn’t the trigger — it’s the speed and lack of consciousness of reaction between stimulus and response. Something stings, and we react before we’ve even asked whether the story we’re telling ourselves is true. We fire off the text and make the other person responsible for a wound that was already there. The practice is deceptively simple: in the moment you feel triggered, pause. Ask how much of this is actually true, and how it makes you feel. That pause is the whole ballgame. And Nathan was honest that this is the hard part — the part he tried to rush through early in his divorce, and couldn’t. Because it can’t be rushed. The inner work never can. 🎧 The full conversation is a real-time map for loving, and leaving, consciously. Comment PODCAST and I’ll send it to you.

    I was standing in the middle of Piazza Navona when I felt the urge to cry.

    I’d been at my screen all day. My intuition whispered, go outside, take a walk. I resisted before I obliged, and with a grunt I dragged my body onto the cobbled streets of Rome, my birth city.

    The crowds were buzzing. Utensils clinking, tourists taking photos, vendors with their plastic toys and scarves.

    So much life. And standing right in the middle of it, my stomach clenched.

    Because I felt so lonely.

    And almost immediately, the chatter:

    “But your life is so beautiful.”
    “You’re doing so good.”
    “Come on, use your tools. You can shift your state.”

    I know that strategy well. Call a friend, find more work to do, get dessert, go shopping.

    High achievers who love personal growth have a very sophisticated blind spot. We’re good at naming our emotions. We have tools. So the moment something comes up, we get to work on it.

    But underneath all that processing there is often a very subtle energy of… “I need to get rid of this.”

    This time I didn’t reach. I stayed exactly where I was, in the middle of Rome, and let the feeling be there without needing to change it.

    And what I found was this. I wasn’t just experiencing loneliness.

    I was experiencing loneliness AND trying to get rid of it at the same time.

    Those are two different things. And only one of them hurts.

    What happened next changed how I relate to every uncomfortable emotion… and there’s one question I’d want you to have for the next time loneliness visits you.

    It’s all in this week’s Substack piece. Comment ROME and I’ll send it to you.

    46 9
    Open post by celinnedacosta with ID 18097009076369388
    I was standing in the middle of Piazza Navona when I felt the urge to cry. I’d been at my screen all day. My intuition whispered, go outside, take a walk. I resisted before I obliged, and with a grunt I dragged my body onto the cobbled streets of Rome, my birth city. The crowds were buzzing. Utensils clinking, tourists taking photos, vendors with their plastic toys and scarves. So much life. And standing right in the middle of it, my stomach clenched. Because I felt so lonely. And almost immediately, the chatter: “But your life is so beautiful.” “You’re doing so good.” “Come on, use your tools. You can shift your state.” I know that strategy well. Call a friend, find more work to do, get dessert, go shopping. High achievers who love personal growth have a very sophisticated blind spot. We’re good at naming our emotions. We have tools. So the moment something comes up, we get to work on it. But underneath all that processing there is often a very subtle energy of… “I need to get rid of this.” This time I didn’t reach. I stayed exactly where I was, in the middle of Rome, and let the feeling be there without needing to change it. And what I found was this. I wasn’t just experiencing loneliness. I was experiencing loneliness AND trying to get rid of it at the same time. Those are two different things. And only one of them hurts. What happened next changed how I relate to every uncomfortable emotion… and there’s one question I’d want you to have for the next time loneliness visits you. It’s all in this week’s Substack piece. Comment ROME and I’ll send it to you.
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