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Book Nook – The Burning Ground

By Tania Nikitko | June 12, 2026
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What If Your Story Is Not What You Think It Is – The Burning Ground

By Tania Nikitko | June 12, 2026
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Stop Idolizing Hustle Culture And Do This Instead

By Lani | July 26, 2022
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How Redefining Your ‘Why’ Can Take Your Brand to the Next Level

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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3 Reasons Why Brand Storytelling Is The Future Of Marketing

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Do a Deep Emotional Dive to Tell a Better Brand Story

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How to Craft a Compelling Brand Story That Drives Sales

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How Technology Will Change The Way Business Is Run In 2021

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Women Need To Talk About Money And Not Feel Ashamed

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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There’s Nothing Unique About Your Biggest Fears (And What That Means)

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How This Entrepreneur Built A 7-Figure Business Helping Companies Cut Their Second Largest Expense

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How This Woman Turned Her Chronic Illness Into A Heart-Led, Multi-Six Figure Business

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How To Own And Create A Brand Category That Dominates Your Space

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How This 32-Year-Old Entrepreneur Makes Over $80k A Month Blogs

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Bridging Ancient Wisdom Into Modern Society

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Tony Robbins—What Is Holding You Back From Success? The Battle Between Head And Heart

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How This Ex-Convict Built A 7-Figure Coaching Business By Turning His Pain Into Power

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How Your Relationship Patterns Are Ruining Your Business Success (And What To Do About It)

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How This Supermom Leveraged Branding To Quit Corporate, Travel The World, And Build A 7-Figure Business

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Tony Robbins: Rules To Becoming Wealthy—How To Become Rich Without Selling Your Soul

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Investors Share Their Top Secrets Of How To Profit During A Recession—With Warren Buffett

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Pushing A New Amazon Business Model To The Forefront

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How To Take Radical Responsibility For Your Happiness And Success

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How One Woman Broke Through The Glass Ceiling and Built a Multi-Million Dollar Online Course Empire

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Good Vibrations: How To Find Your Success Frequency

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Paid Or Organic Marketing: Which Strategy Provides Highest ROI

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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The OPRAH Effect—Influential Women Of Diversity To Watch In 2021

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Top 7 PR And Branding Firms For Entrepreneurs In 2021

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Gabrielle Bernstein On Fear, The Killer Of Success

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Why You Must Slay Your Mindset And Stop Self-Sabotage To Achieve Your Goals

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Redefining What It Means To Be Truly Wealthy

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Jordan Belfort—Fact Or Fiction?: Sales Pros Who Use Emotional Intelligence Close More Deals

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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The Six-Figure Community That Was Built Around A Culture Of Family And Mutual Support

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How This Entrepreneur Earns Six Figures A Month—Without Trading Time For Money

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How To Know When Your Brand Story Is Boring (And What To Do About It)

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How This Entrepreneur Built An Award-Winning Podcast And A Seven-Figure Empire By Becoming A Person Of Value

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Entrepreneurs That Pivoted During The Coronavirus And Created Or Maintained A Successful Business

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Creating The Oprah Effect—How Brands On The Edge Can Change Their Future

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How This 32-Year-Old Entrepreneur Makes Over $80k A Month Blogging

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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What To Do When Everything Seems To Be Going Wrong (It’s Simpler Than You Think)

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Conscious Leadership: Why It’s More Important Than Ever

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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The Truth About ‘Starving Artists’ And How You Can Avoid This Trap

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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This High School Dropout Built A 7-Figure Business By Shining A Light On Diversity, Equity And Inclusion

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How This Woman Built A Multi-Six Figure Business Teaching Entrepreneurs To Become Successful Speakers

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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3 Ways To Use Your Story To Build A Stronger Personal Brand

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Meet The Woman Who Built Two Multi-Seven Figure Businesses Helping Creatives Cash In On Their Expertise

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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From Self-Doubt To Self-Love: How This Single Mom Is Now Helping Others Find Their Spark

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How This Entrepreneur Built A 7-Figure Business Helping Companies Cut Their Second Largest Expense

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How This Single Mother Used Her Winning Attitude On Life To Build A Multimillion-Dollar Business

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How This First-Generation Immigrant Walked Away From Her Dream Job—And Built A Successful 7-Figure Business

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How I Went From An Unfulfilling Career To Finding My Calling

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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3 Tips On Surviving The Entrepreneur Roller Coaster

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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5 Ways To Audit Your Life, Marie Kondo-Style

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How One Woman Built A Multimillion-Dollar Business Without Sacrificing Her Sanity

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Human Or Automation? The Answer To Scaling A Business In 2021 With Russell Brunson

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How One Woman Broke Through The Glass Ceiling and Built a Multi-Million Dollar Online Course Empire

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Do You Even Really Know What You Want In Life?

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Meet The 26-Year-Old Who Used These Unexpected Mindset Hacks To Become A Millionaire… in 3 Years

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How To Make A 6-Figure Passive Income By Working Smarter (Not Harder)

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How To Use Online Courses To Generate A 6-Figure Passive Income

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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5 European destinations that are totally underrated (plus 3 that are a little overrated)

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How Finnish Culture Can Teach You To Design Your Life

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How This Millennial Entrepreneur Built A Six-Figure Online Business By Empowering Women

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Three Ways To Start Designing Your Dream Life

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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3 Ways To Transform Any Obstacle Into An Opportunity

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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3 Ways To Create Standout Brand Messaging In A World Of Noise

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Words Beyond Translation: Ojalá

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Words Beyond Translation: Ichi-go Ichi-e (いちごいちえ)

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How To Balance An Online Business While Traveling Full-Time

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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The Millennial Workforce Needs Mentors, Not Managers

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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WHAT WE CAN ALL LEARN FROM COSTA RICA’S PURA VIDA PHILOSOPHY

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Words Beyond Translation: Hacerle Ganas

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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3 Branding Mistakes To Avoid When Scaling Your Business

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How This Millennial Mom Leveraged Her Personal Brand To Land A $19K Dream Gig In Paradise

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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3 Secrets To Networking Your Way To Success (While Still Being Human)

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How This Costa Rican Business Makes Sustainability Profitable

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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3 Simple Steps To Crafting A Captivating Brand Story

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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WHY I’LL ALWAYS LOVE BALI, AN ISLAND PARADISE LIKE NO OTHER

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How This 28-Year-Old Earned $10K A Month To Travel The World In Luxury

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How To Create A Brand Story That Connects With Audiences And Drives Sales

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How This 25-Year-Old Earns A Passive Revenue of $400K A Year While Traveling The World

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Words Beyond Translation: Waldeinsamkeit

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Words Beyond Translation: Vale la Pena

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How This Female Founder Left A $200K Corporate Salary To Revolutionize The Beauty Industry

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Why Every Business Needs Powerful Storytelling To Grow

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Words Beyond Translation: Saudade

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Words Beyond Translation: Rasa

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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What Entrepreneurs Can Learn From The Slovenian Mindset

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How This 27-Year-Old Used Instagram To Double Her Income

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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I Didn’t Touch My Phone For A Week (And It Changed My Life)

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How This 23-Year-Old Makes Six Figures From Her Online Business – And Helps Others Do The Same

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How To Sell Your Personal Brand (Without Selling Out

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How Two Millennials Made +$700K In Five Months By Bringing Together Successful Entrepreneurs

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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LESSONS FROM THE ROAD: WHAT TRAVEL TAUGHT ME ABOUT LOVE

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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I’VE VISITED COLOMBIA 8 TIMES; HERE’S WHY I’LL RETURN

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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3 Ways Taking Risks Makes You Better

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How Minimalism Can Make You Wealthier

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How Two Millennial Women Made Over $130,000 While Traveling the World Full-Time

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Three Foolproof Negotiation Skills I Learned From Bartering My Way Around The World

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How 365 Days Can Completely Change Your Life

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How This Woman Circumnavigated The Globe On $8,500

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How A New York Expat Gave Up Corporate To Become An Entrepreneur In The Tropics

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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4 Office Habits That Go Out The Window When You Become A Digital Nomad

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Three Lessons Full-Time Travel Taught Me About Business

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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In photos: A whirlwind trip through Bucharest

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Day In The Life: Mixing Work With Adventure In San Diego

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Tips On Succeeding As A Digital Nomad After Seven Months On The Road

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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What a Burmese monk taught me about love and friendship

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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What It Takes To Be A Digital Nomad, From A Startup That Creates Them

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Day In The Life: A Digital Nomad Chasing Inspiration In Hawaii

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How Fear Of Failure Can Motivate You

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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You Can’t Get What You Don’t Ask For

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Day In The Life: Working From An Australian Beach

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How These 6 Millennials Travel The World For A Living

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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What I Learned About Preventing Burnout – From Burning Out

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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In photos: The bites of Budapest

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Why you should talk to strangers when you’re abroad

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How Screaming Helped Me Become More Aware

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Can Having Less Possessions Help You Focus On What’s Important?

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Day In The Life: Working From A Fishing Village In Myanmar

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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What Nepali Entrepreneurs Can Teach Us About Perseverance

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How to fall in love with humanity again

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Succeeding As A Digital Nomad: What I Learned After Three Months On The Road

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Dear solo female travelers, please don’t leave until you understand these 7 things

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Romania: A country rediscovering its identity

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How Changing Your Definition Of Success Makes You Successful

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How I Travel The World Through My Social Network

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Day In The Life: Being A Digital Nomad While Couch-Surfing The World In Nepal

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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How This Millennial Nomad Affords Full-Time Travel

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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I’ve been couchsurfing nonstop for two months, here’s what I’ve learned about human nature

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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On Becoming Desensitized to Beauty

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Potential Won’t Get You Far Without Direction

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Day In The Life: Being A Digital Nomad While Couch-Surfing The World

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Personal Freedom Should Not Be A Fight

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Use Technology, But Don’t Let It Use You

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Cuba: More Than Just a Time Capsule

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Why Do We Fight For What We Don’t Want?

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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10 things I wish I’d known before traveling to Cuba

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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New York, I Love You, But I Have To Let You Go

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Why I Quit My Job To Couch Surf The World

By Lani | February 18, 2022
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Recent Posts

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  • What To Do When You’re Feeling “Stuck”
  • So You’re Successful. Now What? 
  • Transform Your Life: Navigating Identity Shifts and Embracing Change

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    JOIN MY TRIBE ON INSTAGRAM

    celinnedacosta

    3,132 44,940

    Trusted advisor to the unconventional leader ready to articulate your truth into stories that move people.
    Forbes, TEDx, USA Today Bestselling Author

    Who else pays the bill for your success?

    I interviewed Ken Honda, bestselling author of Happy Money, and he said something about ambition and success that really stopped me in my tracks:

    “You’re leveraging and borrowing money from your kids’ future.”

    He was talking about what happens when the pursuit of financial success consumes so much of your time, attention and energy that the people you love start absorbing the cost.

    Your children. Your partner. Your friends.

    You might be the one making the money, but you`re not necessarily the only one paying for it.

    Holy sh*t. Let that image land for a second.

    I started picturing one of those pie charts your banking app gives you at the end of the month, showing exactly where your money went.

    Except this one showed where your energy went.

    How much went to the business? Clients? Your team? Your partner? Your children? Yourself?

    And if you could actually see that breakdown, would you still define what you`re building as successful?

    🎧 Ken and I get into the hidden cost of ambition, what he calls the “family energy quota,” and whether the people around us sometimes end up paying for our success. Comment PODCAST and I`ll send it to you.

    8 3
    Open post by celinnedacosta with ID 18087362615656707
    Who else pays the bill for your success? 

I interviewed Ken Honda, bestselling author of Happy Money, and he said something about ambition and success that really stopped me in my tracks:

“You’re leveraging and borrowing money from your kids’ future.”

He was talking about what happens when the pursuit of financial success consumes so much of your time, attention and energy that the people you love start absorbing the cost.

Your children. Your partner. Your friends. 

You might be the one making the money, but you're not necessarily the only one paying for it. 

Holy sh*t. Let that image land for a second.

I started picturing one of those pie charts your banking app gives you at the end of the month, showing exactly where your money went.

Except this one showed where your energy went.

How much went to the business? Clients? Your team? Your partner? Your children? Yourself?

And if you could actually see that breakdown, would you still define what you're building as successful?

🎧 Ken and I get into the hidden cost of ambition, what he calls the “family energy quota,” and whether the people around us sometimes end up paying for our success. Comment PODCAST and I'll send it to you.

    A dictation app came out and I stopped writing.

    It feels silly to say, because I`d just published a book that I human-wrote the hard way, with these little fingers.

    But this AI revolution made me kind of lazy for a moment. It became so easy to voice command everything I wanted to say that I just… stopped.

    And I`ve felt the gap of not writing.

    Because I don`t speak the way I write, and I don`t write the way I speak. When I`m writing, I`m thinking. They`re two different ways of relating to my Word.

    Somewhere in the middle of that I realised I`d been using one word to describe two very different things.

    Your words are everything you say.

    Your Word is your promises, your boundaries, your commitments, your lived experience alchemised into something you`ve earned the right to say. Everything your life is willing to stand behind.

    Your soul speaks through Word.

    Beautiful words have never been easier to produce. AI can generate words all day long.

    Which means it`s entirely possible now to have beautiful words and very little Word.

    You can say your family comes first. You can say your health matters. You can say integrity is important. You can say you`re building a business to create freedom.

    But if your calendar and your decisions consistently tell a different story, your Word begins to weaken. You start losing trust in your own voice. And eventually, so does everyone else.

    The power of your Word doesn`t come from eloquence. It comes from how much of your life is standing behind what you say.

    There are four questions in this week`s piece for finding where your gap is.

    Comment SUBSTACK and I`ll send it to you.

    p.s. Writing this reminded me why I created Business by Soul®. It`s a self-paced program to reconnect to your values, your decisions, your mission and the business you`re building… so your life and your Word start moving in sync 🌀✨.

    10 7
    Open post by celinnedacosta with ID 18107944295232132
    A dictation app came out and I stopped writing.

It feels silly to say, because I'd just published a book that I human-wrote the hard way, with these little fingers.

But this AI revolution made me kind of lazy for a moment. It became so easy to voice command everything I wanted to say that I just… stopped.

And I've felt the gap of not writing.

Because I don't speak the way I write, and I don't write the way I speak. When I'm writing, I'm thinking. They're two different ways of relating to my Word.

Somewhere in the middle of that I realised I'd been using one word to describe two very different things.

Your words are everything you say.

Your Word is your promises, your boundaries, your commitments, your lived experience alchemised into something you've earned the right to say. Everything your life is willing to stand behind.

Your soul speaks through Word.

Beautiful words have never been easier to produce. AI can generate words all day long.

Which means it's entirely possible now to have beautiful words and very little Word.

You can say your family comes first. You can say your health matters. You can say integrity is important. You can say you're building a business to create freedom.

But if your calendar and your decisions consistently tell a different story, your Word begins to weaken. You start losing trust in your own voice. And eventually, so does everyone else.

The power of your Word doesn't come from eloquence. It comes from how much of your life is standing behind what you say.

There are four questions in this week's piece for finding where your gap is.

Comment SUBSTACK and I'll send it to you.

p.s. Writing this reminded me why I created Business by Soul®. It's a self-paced program to reconnect to your values, your decisions, your mission and the business you're building… so your life and your Word start moving in sync 🌀✨.

    “The hierarchy of your values dictates your financial destiny.”

    When Dr. John Demartini said this, I pushed back.

    What about the person who desperately wants to build wealth but can’t seem to?

    His answer opened up a fascinating distinction between wanting something and actually valuing it.

    @DrJohnDemartini has spent almost 50 years studying human values, including the relationship between our values and how we earn, spend and invest money.

    His argument is that money circulates through the economy from those who value it least to those who value it most — and that your hierarchy of values influences which end of that flow you’re standing in.

    Saying you “want” wealth is one thing.

    But actually “valuing” wealth is what dictates whether your can create it or not.

    If wealth building sits low on your hierarchy, you may consistently spend money on things that depreciate. If it sits high, you’re more likely to prioritise saving, investing and acquiring assets that work for you.

    And this was the part that landed for me:

    Unless there’s a shift in values, there won’t be a shift in actions.

    This isn’t a verdict on whether money should matter to you. Plenty of extraordinary lives are built around values that have nothing to do with accumulating wealth.

    It’s about ending the war between what you say you want and what you actually organise your life around.

    One of those two is telling the truth.

    🎧 Why wanting something and valuing it produce completely different behaviours, and only one of them moves you. Comment PODCAST and I`ll send it to you.

    47 10
    Open post by celinnedacosta with ID 17930523333394305
    “The hierarchy of your values dictates your financial destiny.”

When Dr. John Demartini said this, I pushed back.

What about the person who desperately wants to build wealth but can’t seem to?

His answer opened up a fascinating distinction between wanting something and actually valuing it.

@DrJohnDemartini has spent almost 50 years studying human values, including the relationship between our values and how we earn, spend and invest money.

His argument is that money circulates through the economy from those who value it least to those who value it most — and that your hierarchy of values influences which end of that flow you’re standing in.

Saying you “want” wealth is one thing. 

But actually “valuing” wealth is what dictates whether your can create it or not. 

If wealth building sits low on your hierarchy, you may consistently spend money on things that depreciate. If it sits high, you’re more likely to prioritise saving, investing and acquiring assets that work for you.

And this was the part that landed for me:

Unless there’s a shift in values, there won’t be a shift in actions.

This isn’t a verdict on whether money should matter to you. Plenty of extraordinary lives are built around values that have nothing to do with accumulating wealth.

It’s about ending the war between what you say you want and what you actually organise your life around.

One of those two is telling the truth.

🎧 Why wanting something and valuing it produce completely different behaviours, and only one of them moves you. Comment PODCAST and I'll send it to you.

    If you took away my business, my money, and my achievements, I would still consider myself a very wealthy woman.

    Because the most precious asset I’ll ever own is the memory of my experiences — and the emotions that come alive in my body every time I remember them.

    I wasn’t always someone who built my life this way.

    For a long time, I was asking:

    What can I achieve?

    Somewhere along the way, I started asking a different question:

    What does my soul desire to experience?

    That question has led me to trek through the snowy mountains of Pakistan. Swim with baby seals in the crystalline waters of the Galapagos. Watch a pregnant moon rise from behind the dunes of the Saharan desert.

    And most recently, watch the moon perfectly align with the sun in totality, in the middle of the Arctic seas of Greenland.

    The more I’ve taken that question seriously, the more I’ve become someone I now know myself to be:

    A collector of extraordinary experiences.

    Your version of extraordinary probably looks different from mine.

    The question is: are the things you deeply desire actually getting a vote in how you build your life?

    This week’s Substack is about how I learned to give them one — plus a Soul Inquiry to help you uncover your own.

    Full story on Substack — link in bio.

    54 8
    Open post by celinnedacosta with ID 17952983940218086
    If you took away my business, my money, and my achievements, I would still consider myself a very wealthy woman.

Because the most precious asset I’ll ever own is the memory of my experiences — and the emotions that come alive in my body every time I remember them.

I wasn’t always someone who built my life this way.

For a long time, I was asking:

What can I achieve?

Somewhere along the way, I started asking a different question:

What does my soul desire to experience?

That question has led me to trek through the snowy mountains of Pakistan. Swim with baby seals in the crystalline waters of the Galapagos. Watch a pregnant moon rise from behind the dunes of the Saharan desert.

And most recently, watch the moon perfectly align with the sun in totality, in the middle of the Arctic seas of Greenland.

The more I’ve taken that question seriously, the more I’ve become someone I now know myself to be:

A collector of extraordinary experiences.

Your version of extraordinary probably looks different from mine.

The question is: are the things you deeply desire actually getting a vote in how you build your life?

This week’s Substack is about how I learned to give them one — plus a Soul Inquiry to help you uncover your own.

Full story on Substack — link in bio.

    «Going back and dealing with how you got the [subconscious] program… is a waste of time. You already have the program.»

    I’ve rarely heard a scientist say something so at odds with how most of us were taught to heal. 

    @brucelipton Bruce H. Lipton, Ph.D spent his career studying how change actually happens inside your cells, and what he found cuts against the whole premise of returning to the past to understand our wounds. Every time you go back and replay how a pattern got installed, he says, you reinforce the very thing you’re trying to move beyond.

    I’ve watched this play out with high-achievers who have done years of therapy and still feel stuck in the same place. Understanding where a pattern came from turns out to be a very different thing from changing it. The insight lives in the small part of you that’s conscious, while the pattern keeps running from the much larger part that isn’t.

    What he offers instead doesn’t ask you to excavate your history for another decade. You already carry the program. The work is to rewrite it from where you stand now, and then to live as the person who is already running the new one.
    Where have you been trying to understand a pattern, when what it’s really asking is to be rewritten?

    🎧 Bruce shares the three ways to actually change the program — including the one he says shifted his own life in fifteen minutes. Comment PODCAST and I’ll send it to you.

    39 8
    Open post by celinnedacosta with ID 17967872229129378
    «Going back and dealing with how you got the [subconscious] program… is a waste of time. You already have the program.»

I’ve rarely heard a scientist say something so at odds with how most of us were taught to heal. 

@brucelipton Bruce H. Lipton, Ph.D spent his career studying how change actually happens inside your cells, and what he found cuts against the whole premise of returning to the past to understand our wounds. Every time you go back and replay how a pattern got installed, he says, you reinforce the very thing you’re trying to move beyond.

I’ve watched this play out with high-achievers who have done years of therapy and still feel stuck in the same place. Understanding where a pattern came from turns out to be a very different thing from changing it. The insight lives in the small part of you that’s conscious, while the pattern keeps running from the much larger part that isn’t.

What he offers instead doesn’t ask you to excavate your history for another decade. You already carry the program. The work is to rewrite it from where you stand now, and then to live as the person who is already running the new one.
Where have you been trying to understand a pattern, when what it’s really asking is to be rewritten?

🎧 Bruce shares the three ways to actually change the program — including the one he says shifted his own life in fifteen minutes. Comment PODCAST and I’ll send it to you.

    Over-explaining is an attempt to control.

    When you sense something isn’t landing, do you reach for more words? Then a caveat, in case those were the wrong ones…

    And underneath that is care. You have a low tolerance for being misunderstood, and there is something sitting on your heart that you genuinely want another person to see.

    That’s the gift.

    But every gift has a shadow. Understanding gets made in the space you leave for someone to think their own way toward it.

    The more you try to control how someone experiences what you said, the less room they have to actually have an experience of it.

    So the work isn’t becoming someone who never over-explains.

    It’s catching it for what it is… a smoke signal that something underneath is asking for your attention.

    Next time you notice yourself adding one more explanation, don’t reach for a better way to say it. Pause and ask what you’re afraid will happen if you stop talking.

    There are five questions in this week’s Substack article to guide you in exactly that moment.

    Comment SUBSTACK and I’ll send it to you.

    34 6
    Open post by celinnedacosta with ID 18127291561661179
    Over-explaining is an attempt to control.

When you sense something isn’t landing, do you reach for more words? Then a caveat, in case those were the wrong ones…

And underneath that is care. You have a low tolerance for being misunderstood, and there is something sitting on your heart that you genuinely want another person to see.

That’s the gift.

But every gift has a shadow. Understanding gets made in the space you leave for someone to think their own way toward it.

The more you try to control how someone experiences what you said, the less room they have to actually have an experience of it.

So the work isn’t becoming someone who never over-explains.

It’s catching it for what it is… a smoke signal that something underneath is asking for your attention.

Next time you notice yourself adding one more explanation, don’t reach for a better way to say it. Pause and ask what you’re afraid will happen if you stop talking.

There are five questions in this week’s Substack article to guide you in exactly that moment.

Comment SUBSTACK and I’ll send it to you.

    The most honest relationship advice I’ve heard came from my ex-partner, near the end of our post-breakup podcast interview.

    @nathanfreitasphoto Nathan said the part almost nobody wants to hear: before you go looking for the right relationship, do the work in yourself. Get to the place where you don’t jump into action the second someone triggers you.

    Here’s why it landed for me. So much of what breaks relationships isn’t the trigger — it’s the speed and lack of consciousness of reaction between stimulus and response. Something stings, and we react before we’ve even asked whether the story we’re telling ourselves is true. We fire off the text and make the other person responsible for a wound that was already there.

    The practice is deceptively simple: in the moment you feel triggered, pause. Ask how much of this is actually true, and how it makes you feel. That pause is the whole ballgame.

    And Nathan was honest that this is the hard part — the part he tried to rush through early in his divorce, and couldn’t. Because it can’t be rushed. The inner work never can.

    🎧 The full conversation is a real-time map for loving, and leaving, consciously. Comment PODCAST and I’ll send it to you.

    32 2
    Open post by celinnedacosta with ID 17908742430444491
    The most honest relationship advice I’ve heard came from my ex-partner, near the end of our post-breakup podcast interview.

@nathanfreitasphoto Nathan said the part almost nobody wants to hear: before you go looking for the right relationship, do the work in yourself. Get to the place where you don’t jump into action the second someone triggers you.

Here’s why it landed for me. So much of what breaks relationships isn’t the trigger — it’s the speed and lack of consciousness of reaction between stimulus and response. Something stings, and we react before we’ve even asked whether the story we’re telling ourselves is true. We fire off the text and make the other person responsible for a wound that was already there.

The practice is deceptively simple: in the moment you feel triggered, pause. Ask how much of this is actually true, and how it makes you feel. That pause is the whole ballgame.

And Nathan was honest that this is the hard part — the part he tried to rush through early in his divorce, and couldn’t. Because it can’t be rushed. The inner work never can.

🎧 The full conversation is a real-time map for loving, and leaving, consciously. Comment PODCAST and I’ll send it to you.

    I was standing in the middle of Piazza Navona when I felt the urge to cry.

    I’d been at my screen all day. My intuition whispered, go outside, take a walk. I resisted before I obliged, and with a grunt I dragged my body onto the cobbled streets of Rome, my birth city.

    The crowds were buzzing. Utensils clinking, tourists taking photos, vendors with their plastic toys and scarves.

    So much life. And standing right in the middle of it, my stomach clenched.

    Because I felt so lonely.

    And almost immediately, the chatter:

    “But your life is so beautiful.”
    “You’re doing so good.”
    “Come on, use your tools. You can shift your state.”

    I know that strategy well. Call a friend, find more work to do, get dessert, go shopping.

    High achievers who love personal growth have a very sophisticated blind spot. We’re good at naming our emotions. We have tools. So the moment something comes up, we get to work on it.

    But underneath all that processing there is often a very subtle energy of… “I need to get rid of this.”

    This time I didn’t reach. I stayed exactly where I was, in the middle of Rome, and let the feeling be there without needing to change it.

    And what I found was this. I wasn’t just experiencing loneliness.

    I was experiencing loneliness AND trying to get rid of it at the same time.

    Those are two different things. And only one of them hurts.

    What happened next changed how I relate to every uncomfortable emotion… and there’s one question I’d want you to have for the next time loneliness visits you.

    It’s all in this week’s Substack piece. Comment ROME and I’ll send it to you.

    46 9
    Open post by celinnedacosta with ID 18097009076369388
    I was standing in the middle of Piazza Navona when I felt the urge to cry.

I’d been at my screen all day. My intuition whispered, go outside, take a walk. I resisted before I obliged, and with a grunt I dragged my body onto the cobbled streets of Rome, my birth city.

The crowds were buzzing. Utensils clinking, tourists taking photos, vendors with their plastic toys and scarves.

So much life. And standing right in the middle of it, my stomach clenched.

Because I felt so lonely.

And almost immediately, the chatter:

“But your life is so beautiful.”
 “You’re doing so good.”
 “Come on, use your tools. You can shift your state.”

I know that strategy well. Call a friend, find more work to do, get dessert, go shopping.

High achievers who love personal growth have a very sophisticated blind spot. We’re good at naming our emotions. We have tools. So the moment something comes up, we get to work on it.

But underneath all that processing there is often a very subtle energy of… “I need to get rid of this.”

This time I didn’t reach. I stayed exactly where I was, in the middle of Rome, and let the feeling be there without needing to change it.

And what I found was this. I wasn’t just experiencing loneliness.

I was experiencing loneliness AND trying to get rid of it at the same time.

Those are two different things. And only one of them hurts.

What happened next changed how I relate to every uncomfortable emotion… and there’s one question I’d want you to have for the next time loneliness visits you.

It’s all in this week’s Substack piece. Comment ROME and I’ll send it to you.
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